


Jealousy is Subliminal

by thatsbuckedup



Series: Wilted Sunflower [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, More Fluff, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:02:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28710924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsbuckedup/pseuds/thatsbuckedup
Summary: “Did ya get with anyone in Brazil?” Atsumu finds himself asking.Hinata’s eyes widen before they settle, staring blankly at the tray table between them. A tiny smile forms on his face as he sets his phone down. Sitting opposite each other allows Atsumu to pick up on Hinata’s subtle but very obvious behaviours. He can just see the memories flood back to the forefront of Hinata's mind by his expressions and it's giving him hell that he doesn't know what they are.“I...well...yeah,” he shifts awkwardly and Atsumu does too when his answer isn't settling settles.Oh.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Series: Wilted Sunflower [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087616
Comments: 5
Kudos: 64





	Jealousy is Subliminal

**Author's Note:**

> Back again! Enjoy! :)  
> H.

_ “I’m home! The photos are here too!”  _

Hinata had just come back from his personal practice at the gym and on his way up to their apartment, he brought with him their mail.

“An’ it only took  _ seven actual weeks  _ to get here,” Atsumu scoffs under his breath. 

“You do realise that the photographers had to do other teams as well not just us right?” Sakusa retorts. 

“Course I knew that,” Atsumu side eyes him, “I was jus’ testin’ ya.” 

“Sure.” 

Hinata places the rest of the mail on the bench with his other hand carrying a large white envelope. Inside it was a bubble wrap lining and cardboard to protect the photos. 

He opens it excitedly with Atsumu next to him at the table. 

The first photo was of the entire team in their original black uniform, stoic and serious. The next was their second uniform, the gold which Hinata took a particular liking to. 

“Ooh, I  _ really  _ love this one.” 

Atsumu slides out the individual shot of  _ himself _ that was peeking from the envelope. Of course he loves it. 

“Your hair looks messy,” Sakusa points out. 

Atsumu’s jaw drops, “ya jus’ hafta point out everythin’ bad about me don’t ya Omi-kun?” 

“Here it is!” Hinata quickly interrupts before Sakusa could fit in another insult. 

It was the photo that Atsumu had been patiently waiting for, mainly because he wanted to stick it on the fridge. That’s what normal people do right? Stick photos on the fridge? 

It captured the three of them; Hinata stood in between his two tall friends. The blondie replicated just as much of a huge grin as Hinata while his arm rested on his shoulder.  On the other hand, Sakusa looked as if that was the last place he wanted to be, which was true since the others had to force him into the frame like a cat taking a bath. 

Taking the photo with him, Atsumu walks around the bench. He spots a couple of lonely magnets on the fridge, strategically placing the photo where he sees fit. 

“Right  _ there _ I think is good,” tongue sticking out in concentration, he places it on the freezer door above the fridge.

“I’m going for my walk. Be back in an hour,” Sakusa says to them completely off topic.

He’s lost a few brain cells just watching Atsumu get excited over a photo. Now he needs to try and recover them.

“Have fun!” chirps Hinata. 

Sakusa’s daily walks seem to be timed so that he doesn’t have to put up with trying to figure out why Hinata and Atsumu are napping together...on the couch... _ in each other’s arms.  _

Of course Sakusa doesn’t know  _ why _ this has started to become a habit of theirs. 

And it all began last week after their successful match against the Adlers. It was just an innocent thing; Hinata fell asleep beside Atsumu in his hotel room while they were watching volleyball videos. 

There wasn’t really that much to it other than that. 

When Hinata woke up first, he realised they were tangled together above the blankets, not that he didn’t mind it. He just questioned how they ended up like that in the first place. 

Surely, they couldn’t have napped  _ that  _ hard. 

Hinata’s head was tucked just underneath Atsumu’s chin with his arm draped over his body and legs jumbled together. Hinata intended to sleep there until they had to leave for Osaka the next day.

But it wasn’t until Kageyama texted him that evening, wanting to meet up for dinner. Hinata at that point knew that he should probably go. 

Now, days have passed and nothing about their napping schedule  _ or napping method  _ has changed. Now as Hinata lies back on the couch, Atsumu joins him gladly. 

They have to squeeze their bodies closer than usual since the couch isn’t exactly the width of their beds. Eventually, napping together has turned into one of their ‘things’ that they just do. 

They’re comfortable which means they can rest better, and they  _ know  _ how important rest is especially when they have a game the following day. 

Hinata’s first match against EJP Raijin was just as exciting as playing against the Adlers. As for Atsumu, it was slightly less fun. 

Before the game had even begun, he spotted his brother in the stands seated next to a friend, old team member of his, and Tachibana Red Falcons player, Ojiro Aran. 

Even though Osamu came to watch his brother he was  _ mainly  _ there to support his boyfriend, Suna playing on the opposite side of the court to the Jackals. 

Atsumu was snarling up at him from the court during the teams warm up and stretches when he noticed that Osamu, like an absolute traitor, was wearing an EJP fan shirt. 

He doesn’t even wear the Jackals shirt Atsumu got him for their birthday last year so it was a huge insult. 

But it didn’t end there. 

Suna has been friends with Atsumu since high school, therefore he knows  _ exactly _ which buttons of his to press. Somewhat immune to most of Suna’s salty remarks, Atsumu usually just says something replies with something snappy or grins and bares it. 

However, there were a few times where Suna managed to rub salt in Atsumu’s wound when he wasn’t looking. 

“Hey Atsumu, is the floor wet?” Suna not so quietly asked through the net when he had the chance. 

Libero for EJP and also an old high school rival, Komori Motoya who heard nearby didn’t even  _ attempt  _ to hide his laughter. 

It took Atsumu a few seconds to understand what Suna meant, when he realised he was referring to the time when Atsumu slipped. 

Among his close colleagues in the division, it seems to be the go-to insult if anyone feels like pissing off Miya Atsumu.  _ He doesn’t even remember how he slipped - it just happened _ . 

“Don't ya think thas gettin’ a bit old Sunarin?” Atsumu laughs dryly. 

Suna ignores him and asks Sakusa who was rotated to the front now, “what do you think he’ll slip on this time?” 

“You think there actually needs to be something for him to slip on?” Sakusa joins in. 

It’s nearly the  _ most _ he’s  _ ever  _ talked in a game and he does it just to poke fun at Atsumu.

“Good point,” Suna snickers.

Atsumu snaps his attention to Sakusa,  _ “Omi!  _ Ya can’t be sayin’ that! We’re on the same side here!” 

But it was all in good fun because eventually, karma came back to bite Suna and Komori when EJP lost to the Jackals. Grinning like a dog afterwards, Atsumu was wringing with the satisfaction of winning. 

Even when they were invited back to Onigiri Miya for a small reunion an hour and a half later, Atsumu was still buzzing. 

“Hinata, you remember Suna right?” Osamu asks him from behind his work station. He’s been busy with his hands moulding onigiri trying to tame his friends stomachs.

“Of course I do, been a while!” Hinata confirms. 

“Sure has. So, did Atsumu force you into a suitcase and smuggle you across the border?” Suna responds. Osamu snorts.

A confused expression falls on Hinata’s face who turns to Atsumu beside him for an explanation. He’s just been sitting there, quiet and suspiciously tame since they arrived except for the fact that his leg kept jittering under the bench. 

“You were going to  _ smuggle  _ me across the border?” Hinata repeats with an eyebrow raised. 

Atsumu smiled innocently at him, “the thought  _ might  _ have crossed my mind…”

_ “Might have?  _ I had to bribe Sakusa with food to make sure he didn’t do it,” Osamu tells Hinata. 

_ “Oh?  _ Geez, if that’d happened, you would’ve been out of a job Atsumu-san.”

Unexpectedly, Hinata places his hand on top of Atsumu’s thigh. Almost immediately, his leg and the rest of his body starts to calm down before his heart rate shoots through the roof. His touch seemingly acts as a weight, keeping Atsumu grounded when Hinata can clearly see his mind hasn't been in Onigiri Miya or on earth for a while. 

Atsumu wants his arms around him. Absolutely hating being subjugated by the adrenaline rushes that games give him is exhausting. 

“Glad Omi-kun was there to stop me bookin’ a flight to Brazil then,” Atsumu manages to say. “Besides, ya came back anyway, so m’not gonna complain.” 

“Hinata-kun, what  _ is _ Brazil like? An’ what was playin’ beach volleyball like as well?” Aran pops his head from behind Suna to ask his question down the bench. 

He and Hinata had finally gotten round to having a conversation with each other since the last time they met was on the national stage at high school. 

“Why? Thinkin’ of quittin’ the Falcons are ya Aran-kun?” Atsumu quickly strikes before Hinata can answer. 

His hand squeezes around Atsumu's thigh, failing to stifle a yelp. They’re a bit more tender than usual since they’ve just played a game.

“I’m jus’ sayin’! I think beach volleyball sounds fun n’all!” Aran objects quickly. “But like I’d quit the best team in the division.”

_ “Best team my ass,”  _ Atsumu scoffs. “Didn’t ya guys come  _ fourth  _ last year?” 

Hinata sits there between the crossfire, theorising that Atsumu’s accent gets thicker whenever he’s surrounded by other Kansai people. The amount of locals almost makes Hinata feel foreign.  Suna is the half exception given that he grew up amidst Kansai folk but comes from Aichi in the Chubu region. 

“Didn’t yer team lose to the Adlers in the final  _ in straight sets last year?  _ Anyways, I was talkin’ to Hinata, not  _ you, _ ” Aran argues. “He was gonna tell me about beach volley.” 

Huffing to himself, Atsumu leans across to Hinata, resting his sleepy head on his shoulder. He lazily wraps his arms around Hinata’s which is still attached to Atsumu’s leg.

Like he’s tuned into him; Atsumu listens intently as Hinata discusses the same topics everyone seems to want to know about. Just as long as he keeps talking, Atsumu is content. 

So content that Atsumu doesn’t catch his brother staring at him with his brows knitted, trying to figure out what is happening between him and Hinata. 

It’s not every day where Osamu sees Atsumu clinging onto someone which to him isn’t necessarily strange. Atsumu, for whatever the reason, needs to be by someone. 

He doesn't admit it but that's because he's probably unaware of it. Osamu is the only one who can tell by his behaviour. 

Other people would think that it’s solely attention Atsumu seems to want. Whilst their assumption is partially true, Osamu knows that the _only_ persons attention Atsumu craves is __ Hinata’s. 

“Ah, I might give beach a go one day!” Aran excitedly says. “You’ll hafta teach me sometime Hinata-kun!”

“I'd be happy to! Let me know when then!” Hinata replies. 

“Uh actually, as Shochan's manager, he’s currently not takin’  _ any  _ reservations at the moment coz’ he’s all booked out fer like...the rest of his life,” Atsumu cuts in. 

“What, tryna look after yer sorry ass _?”  _ Osamu disses. 

“Thas right,” Atsumu nods.

“Hmm, I wish ya all the luck in the world then Hinata-kun.” 

When the time rounded to nine o’clock, Suna was the first to decide that they should all call it a day. Besides Atsumu, the others insisted that they help with the dishes and clean up as a thank you to Osamu. 

However, Suna stood firm, taking one for the team so to speak, demanding that  _ he  _ would help only so that the others could go home. 

_ It was pretty obvious what that all meant though. _

“I swear to god if they do it in the kitchen-”

“-leave your brother and his boyfriend alone,” Hinata cuts him off before he could finish. 

He stands behind Atsumu and begins to shove him out of the shop by his back, the door closing behind them as they exit.  Hinata carried a bag of onigiri filled with umeboshi for Sakusa even though he probably ate somewhere while catching up with Komori. 

“Were you having trouble winding down again?” Hinata sounded like he had been desperate to ask the question. 

Atsumu nods, “yup. S’one thing playin’ a match durin' the day but there’s somethin’ different about playin’ at night. S’like everythin’ is amplified; the teams, fans, coaches, even the lights are brighter fer some reason, s’jus’ this one huge adrenaline rush.” 

Hinata understands that to a certain degree. It's intense playing at their level, every team is out there to win, then there’s interviews, sponsors, training, but there's nothing like games. There's nothing like giving it your absolute all and knowing that you did your best after a match.

As it stands, whilst Hinata's tank is emptied and body exhausted after a game, he doesn’t experience whatever it is that Atsumu seems to have. 

This guy gives  _ more  _ than everything when he plays and Hinata has no trouble matching it. 

“How does it feel when it happens?”

“Hmm, sometimes I feel a little bit sick. Like I have all this energy an’ adrenaline after the game an’ I dunno what to do with it. I feel like I  _ need  _ to be doin’ somethin’,” Atsumu explains as best as he can.

Hinata thinks about it for a second, then answers, “I know that adrenaline rushes have something to do with fight or flight responses and reaction timing? But I definitely know you can get rushes after something exciting like playing a match for instance.”

Atsumu is listening to him, “I guess that makes sense.” 

“Mm, and you’d need an outlet for those rushes,” Hinata informs him. “Not that  _ I’m  _ an expert in the matter. Maybe you should talk to coach and then one of our sports psychologists who’d help you find a way to channel it.”

Atsumu can already think of a way to channel all that extra energy which involves himself, Hinata  and a bed, _naked._ But that  _ extremely  _ intrusive thought was doused when he knew that Hinata is trying to give genuine advice here.

“I find that walkin’ helps all thanks to  _ you, _ ” Atsumu tells him. “But even then, I should go see em’ anyways.” 

Hinata nods, “that’s right. It’s best to tackle these problems head on and go from there!” 

Atsumu can’t help but smile, “yer so lively Shoyo-kun. By the way, when da ya wanna come to Hyogo with me? We don’t have a game next week which means we have another day off on Saturday.”

“Saturday sounds good! We should ask Omi-san too,” Hinata suggests. 

Atsumu's nose scrunches, face twisting into a scowl. He  _ really  _ doesn’t want to ask Sakusa just because he wants to take Hinata with him, nobody else. 

He scoffs stubbornly, “why? S’not like  _ he’ll  _ wanna go anyway.”

“I know, but it’s always nice to ask. He probably  _ will _ say no, but it just never hurts..."

_ “No thank you,"  _ Sakusa tells them both to their faces when they ask the following week.

He's sat at the chabudai reading a book on nutrition; it was clearly more important than a trip to Atsumu’s hometown. 

“See? What did I tell ya?” says Atsumu, proving his point to Hinata. 

“Hey, I was just trying to be polite!” Hinata berates him. 

“I have some things I need to do on Saturday anyway,” Sakusa elaborates. 

“What, cleanin’ the apartment?” Atsumu asks. 

Sakusa glares up from his book, “yes actually because you don’t know how to use a fucking mop and missed the corners in the kitchen  _ which  _ I had to redo in my spare time thats allocated for watching replays.”

“Omi-san has a point you know,” Hinata agrees. 

“About missin’ the corners or not knowin’ how to use a mop?” 

_ “Both,”  _ Hinata _and_ Sakusa answer in unison. 

“Yer never on my side are ya Shoyo-kun? Anyways, m’sorry Omi. It won’t happen again! I promise I’ll  _ somehow  _ get better at moppin’ the floors!” He declares.

Sakusa has absolutely no hope that Atsumu will ever fulfill that promise. He goes back to the comfort of his book. 

“I’ll bring you back a souvenir then Omi-san,” says Hinata on a different topic. 

“Alright then.”

In the following week where the Jackals were exempt from a match, Saturday rolled around. Hinata and Atsumu decided to leave early in the morning, taking the twenty minute train ride from Osaka Station to Kobe. 

Atsumu put thought into what he wanted them to do, what he wanted Hinata to see. At the same time, he wanted to keep their plans flexible which was great thinking in advance.

When they arrived in Kobe, the two of them spent almost half the day shopping in the city when, around lunch time, Atsumu decided to take Hinata to his favourite restaurant to eat some delicious yakiniku. 

He told Hinata the story of how it came to be his go-to restaurant when it was actually Osamu who discovered the hidden gem.

Being the foodie that he is, it was natural for Osamu to seek out such places. Atsumu just doesn’t seem to have the sense of smell for it.

Unfortunately, Atsumu wasn’t going to give credit to his brother for finding such a restaurant that’ll make anyone come back twice. At least he’s thankful because now he gets to take Hinata there who absolutely  _ loves  _ yakiniku. 

“So, we’re going back to your house?” Hinata asks. The two of them have been eating like it’s their last day on earth. 

“Mhm,” Atsumu replies. “ _ Only  _ to drop off our stuff ‘coz I don’t wanna...well, you already know my reasons.”

Hinata nods understandably, “of course.”

“The place I’m takin’ ya to next isn’t too far from there so we won’t wanna be carryin’ bags n’stuff around.”

“Right, sounds good.” 

It’s an hour train ride out into the country and a perfect opportunity for them to put their feet up after spending time walking around Kobe. Hinata managed to find Sakusa a souvenir he reckons he'll like and  _ obviously  _ one for his sister. 

He just _knows_ that Natsu would be all over his case if he went to Kobe and didn’t get her anything. But like the best brother he is and with the help of Atsumu’s expertise, they found something.

For the majority of their journey, Hinata practically had his face glued to the window as they passed by the breathtaking scenery. The mountains way in the distance were coated with a white haze from the snow and there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky. 

Japan had only entered the early stages of autumn. Leaves have already begun to shed from trees into blankets of yellow, brown and orange on the ground. 

In Atsumu’s opinion, it’s his second favourite season with winter coming in at number one. Nothing beats winter in Hyogo and he adds it to the list of things that he wants to show Hinata. 

“So, your favourite place, am I allowed to guess what it is?” Hinata asks, ripping open a packet of sweets he got at the station for him and Atsumu to share.

“Go fer it, but ya probably won’t get it,” he replies. 

“Hmm, okay. Is it a park?” Hinata asks.

“Nope.”

“Store?” 

“Nope.”

“Field?”

“Nope.”

“Is it in some sort of high rise building?” 

“Shoyo-kun, I dunno if you’ve noticed this but we’re out in the country. The only high rise things out these ways are jus’ the mountains,” Atsumu chuckles. 

Hinata’s face falls, “true. Ah, I don’t know. I give up.”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Atsumu assures him. 

When Atsumu said that they were only returning to his house to drop their belongings off, he meant it. Spending another second in that dwelling was doing more harm than good and Hinata could see it on his face. For the brief moments they were in there, Hinata's eyes couldn't help but drift around the house. _So this is where Atsumu grew up._

Osamu is the only person who has an interest in the house so it’s kept relatively tidy. He uses it as a place to stay whenever he comes back out to the country to talk with Kita, their old captain and now rice farmer about, well, rice. And their businesses of course and just catching up with each other in general.

There were family photos hanging up here and there, some of them photo-less and blank with just a thin glass screen. Hinata wonders who's faces used to occupy the frames and why they were now empty but still up on the wall. He gazes out the window through to the backyard from where they were standing in the lounge. 

There's a volleyball net strung up between two tall and unkempt trees. Now covered in moss and drooping in the centre, it clearly hasn't been used since the twins were kids and hasn't been taken down. 

To the outside world, it was a home but not to Atsumu, at least not anymore. Hinata knows this from their phone conversations. 

They drop their few bags and belongings on the couch in the lounge, where Atsumu seems to be caught in a daze. Ever since he’s stepped into the house, he’s quiet and his mood has shifted and Hinata doesn’t blame him. 

“Atsumu-san, are you okay?” He questions. It’s very obvious that he’s not okay.

“Yes,” he responds  _ way  _ too quickly, almost like Hinata just gave him a fright. 

"You know Atsumu-san, you don’t have to torture yourself just being here longer than you need to,” Hinata reminds gently reminds him. 

Atsumu sighs wearily, "I know."

So Hinata extends his hand out to Atsumu and he takes it willingly like he’s being saved, almost snatching. 

“Let’s go.” 

He digs his other hand into the front pocket of the jersey Atsumu was wearing before leading him out the door, locking it behind them. Suddenly, Atsumu doesn’t feel like he’s suffocating anymore. 

The clear air of the countryside fills his lungs as he inhales. He feels calm and when he reminded himself that he’s with Hinata right now, he felt a bit better.

“Thanks Shoyo-kun,” Atsumu says to him, voice full of relief. 

Hinata grins up at him, the corners of his eyes crinkle where Atsumu finds himself at a loss for words. 

“We're uh...heading this way now.” 

It was a bit of a struggle for Atsumu to clear his mind as he and Hinata walked along the sides of the empty roads. It’s normal to see dozens of rice fields out in the country which reminds Atsumu; he needs to catch up with Kita at some point. 

Maybe when he comes back for the holidays in December for Christmas and then New Years -  _ fun,  _ Atsumu thinks to himself. 

He knows for a fact that Osamu will force him like he always does towards the end of the year. It’s now become a tradition for the Miya twins to both return to an empty house during those annual events. 

They would’ve never celebrated it if it weren’t for their Grandparents influence...always trying to keep the family together. How ironic, Atsumu thinks. 

“It’s a lot like where I come from,” Hinata’s voice has been yanking Atsumu out of his own head.

Hinata walks and observes at the same time at all the rice farms, mountains in the distance, parks, and small forests here and there that they've been passing so far.

“Ya do know we’re in the countryside right Shoyo-kun?” 

He gives Atsumu a bit of a playful shove, “course I know that, that’s  _ why  _ I said it’s a lot like where I came from. By the way how far is this favourite spot of yours?”

“Why, do you wanna go back? We can come back another ti-“

“-no, no! I still want to see it,” Hinata quickly objects. “We still have the rest of the day together before we head back home.”

Atsumu feels relieved, he points “jus’ through there.”

Hinata follows his finger, seeing that Atsumu is referring to an entrance in the greenery of a forest up ahead.

“You didn’t take me here to kill me right?” Hinata asks sarcastically. 

Atsumu’s face flashes with shock, “huh!?  _ Course  _ m’not here to kill ya! You’re like the lo-“

His lips suddenly purse together to stop his stupid mouth from spilling out things he shouldn’t be. That doesn’t stop him from blushing profusely, so much that he wants to cover his face. Atsumu feels so,  _ so  _ stupid. 

“I’m like the what?” Hinata prompts, looking up to see what he was about to say.

“I said yer like my favourite person, so there’s no way I’d kill ya, or  _ anyone  _ fer that matter. I couldn’t do somethin’ like that,” Atsumu sometimes surprises himself how he can just come up with things on the spot. 

Hinata agrees, “who  _ would  _ be able to? Something like that would haunt you forever - anyways let’s not talk about dying when we’re about to enter a forest...in the middle of nowhere...with probably no reception if we need help-“

_ “-are ya scared Shochan?”  _ Atsumu teases him. 

“N-No!” He stammers. “Just as long as  _ you’re  _ here I’m not.”

Taken a bit of guard there for a second, Atsumu catches himself grinning like an idiot, “yer so cheesy.” 

“Don’t lie, you like it.” 

_ Atsumu doesn’t complain there.  _

They stroll closely together through the green canopy of leaves sheltering over them. In a few weeks, most of these leaves will be on the ground. A narrow dirt beaten track is beneath their feet as Atsumu takes Hinata to the very place he used to come to when he was a kid. The only other person alive who knows the whereabouts of this spot is Osamu. 

Hinata’s ears tune into every sound they manage to pick up; the birds chirping, rustle of the wind in the leaves, their steps. He also faintly hears the sound of- 

“Is that a waterfall?”

Atsumu nods, “yup. S’where we’re headin’. Our grandparents used to take ‘Samu and I here whenever we could -  _ only if we were well behaved that is.”  _

“So you didn’t come here very often then?” Hinata jokes. 

Atsumu grins at the ground, running a hand through his hair, “believe it or not, ‘Samu was the naughtier one outta the two of us when we were kids so he'd be lettin' us down.” 

_ “No, what?”  _ Hinata says in disbelief. “I can’t see that.”

“S’true! He used to bury my head in the sand at the beach, throw things at me, he locked me outside of the house once  _ on purpose,”  _ Atsumu was  _ partially  _ stretching the truth there. 

He could already hear Osamu call him out on his bullshit, saying  _ ‘I didn’t purposely lock ya out! I thought you were already inside the house so I locked the door like I usually would!’  _ Ever since then, Atsumu has always ran with the story that Osamu once left him outside to fend for himself. 

“Oh you poor thing!” Hinata exaggerates. 

“I know,” Atsumu frowns, but his face quickly perks up when he feels Hinata suddenly latch onto his arm. 

Hinata isn’t really sure what overcame him to hold onto Atsumu. Maybe he just wanted to make sure Atsumu was okay even though he seems to be after returning back to his home. Neither of them complain, but it's not enough for Atsumu. 

“Sounds like you had heaps of fun growing up,” Hinata continues. 

_ “So much fun,  _ especially  _ here,”  _ Atsumu emphasises. “Whenever ‘Samu and I weren’t tryna drown each other in the springs, we’d have a picnic on top of this huge rock nearby that you’ll see. I would’ve taken ya swimmin’ but s’getting colder now.”

“You’ll just have to take me back in the summer then,” Hinata says to him. 

The likelihood of bringing Hinata back to Hyogo for a second time makes Atsumu inflate with happiness. He’s having such a good day out with him and never wants it to end. 

They knew they were close to the waterfall when a freezing cold spray of mist whipped up over their faces. Just around the corner of the dirt track was the waterfall itself, gushing springwater that flows from mountain ranges beyond into the rock pool. 

Hinata lets go of Atsumu, heading over to the edge bend down and dip his hand in. He shivers and dull ache consumes his hand. The water is icy cold just as he expected it to be, exactly the same how it is in Miyagi when the temperatures start to drop. 

“Yup, that’s definitely freezing.’ 

“Well it is mountain water Shoyo-kun,” Atsumu reminds him. 

Hinata flicks some of the water from his hand at Atsumu,  _ “well yer not the only one who grew up by the mountains.”  _

“Didja just copy my accent!?” 

Hinata winks at him, “good right?” 

“Hmm, I’d give it like a...four point one outta ten,” he answers somewhat honestly then joins him at the perimeter of the rock pool. 

Hinata responds to Atsumu’s shoddy rating of his accent with a very soft punch to his abdomen. His fist lingers just away from his body, where Atsumu grabs it, tugging Hinata’s body towards his own. A muted laugh escaped from Hinata’s mouth as his face was buried in Atsumu’s chest. 

_ Another Hinata and Atsumu habit; _ even when the two aren’t napping together, they somehow find themselves in each other’s arms.  They just fit so snug like the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle that the thought of being anywhere else right now is scary. 

Atsumu makes a hum of content into Hinata’s neck who's body absorbs the vibrations so much that he can feel it in his face. 

Atsumu mutters, “so warm.” 

Hinata grumbles, arms narrowing themselves around Atsumu’s back as a clear response that where he is right now, is where he wants to be.

At some point when they had to tear themselves off one another, Atsumu led Hinata over to the huge rock where he used to have picnics with Osamu and his grandparents. Hinata could see why they’d choose this spot. 

It’s slated, big enough for a blanket to be spread over the surface with a perfect view of the waterfall nearby.

To get across to it, they had to carefully step on other small boulders, avoiding the cold water surrounding them in the rock pool. 

As soon as they were both up, Hianta invited himself to sit in between Atsumu’s outstretched legs. His back was against Atsumu’s body, head leaning back onto his shoulder, gazing up at the awning of green leaves above them. Sunlight peeks through the gaps, falling over his face as Atsumu sits in pure bliss. 

He takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around Hinata’s stomach, encasing him in so that he’s holding his own arms too; like he doesn’t want to let him go. 

“You never told me about your grandparents,” Hinata brings up.

Atsumu smiles into Hinata’s shirt - the opposite expression from what it was when he returned to his childhood home. 

“They were the best,” he responds. “I wish ya could’ve met them too, they would’ve  _ love  _ ya to bits thas fer sure.”

“Really?” Hinata looks at him.  _ God, his face is so close. He’s just inches away from his lips... _

_ “Ooh yeah,”  _ Atsumu laughs. “If they were still here, they would’ve come to  _ all  _ of our games - probably cheer  _ you  _ on more than their own  _ grandson _ .”

“It’s a shame I couldn’t meet them,” Hinata says honestly. Atsumu agrees, completely. 

If they were still alive, they would be the first people Atsumu would bring Hinata to. He knows one hundred percent that they’d love him. 

Atsumu could just picture what life would be like if they were here. 

They’d come visit Osamu’s restaurant, come to Atsumu’s games, they'd all have dinner together - _he'd actually be able to talk to them again._ Those images alone are enough for a thick lump to form in his throat. He tries not to think about the _'what if's_ but they still float around in his mind from time to time. 

“Suna’s the only one who’s met ‘em properly,” Atsumu tells Hinata. 

“That doesn’t surprise me. I'm guessing through Osamu-san right? They've been going out for a while now haven't they?”

“A long time,” he confirms. “Pretty much since Suna started at Inarizaki, ‘Samu had been crushin’ on him like crazy.”

“That  _ is  _ a pretty long time,” Hinata takes in and sighs. 

“Yeah. Soon as Suna said yes, ‘Samu dragged him to our Grandparents an’ we all had dinner together,” Atsumu remembers. “They’ll be the first to get married no doubt about that.” 

Atsumu already called it years ago. He knew that for some reason as soon as Osamu and Suna started dating, they were fit for each other. It was kind of annoying really, having to put up with such a lovey dovey couple who constantly expressed their affection for one another right in front of his face. 

Every time he saw them together, Atsumu was looking at something he couldn’t seem to have; love. As he listens to Hinata ramble on about how Atsumu will  _ also _ get married someday, he knows he’s found love. Or so it may seem. 

When their day came to an eventual end, they were back on the train to Osaka after recollecting their items at Atsumu’s house. It was almost dark out as Hinata was scrolling through the photos they took on Atsumu’s phone when Atsumu blurted something out that even took  _ himself _ by surprise when he heard it.

“Did ya get with anyone in Brazil?” Atsumu finds himself asking. 

Hinata’s eyes widen before they settle, staring blankly at the tray table between them. A tiny smile forms on his face as he sets his phone down. Sitting opposite each other allows Atsumu to pick up on Hinata’s subtle but very obvious behaviours. He can just see the memories flood back to the forefront of Hinata's mind by his expressions and it's giving him hell that he doesn't know what they are.   


“I...well...yeah,” he shifts awkwardly and Atsumu does too when his answer isn’t sitting well in his chest. 

_ Oh. _

“Tell me, tell me,” Atsumu stiffly forces himself to say, unsure if he wants to hear the outcome or not. 

“Um, there was this _one_ person who I was _sort_ _of_ close with - we never _officially_ dated but…”

“But?” Atsumu prompts. Hinata’s gone shy all of a sudden, resorting to fiddling with his own fingers and avoiding eye contact. 

“We saw each other in different ways I suppose. I was so alone over there that I almost forgot what human contact felt like. Outside of that, he and I got along really easily since we were in similar positions when we met,” Hinata explains smoothly.

On the other hand, Atsumu didn’t need any explanation when Hinata mentioned that he saw this guy  _ in different ways.  _

Something hot begins to bubble under his skin just thinking about it. 

“What do ya mean ‘similar positions’? Was he a volleyball player too?” asks Atsumu.

Hinata shakes his head, “no. He was a university student taking a year off and wasn’t really too sure what to do with his life. I wasn’t either and staying here in the country was suffocating and I felt like I just needed to leave so it was nice to have someone to relate to when I was so far away.”

“Oh,” Atsumu is processing what he said.  _ This was all news to him. _ “Where was he from?”

“Spain of all places, Alexander was his name,” he answers.

_ “Were you in love with him?”  _

The words keep slipping out of Atsumu’s mouth a little too quick. Not enough thought went into them and Atsumu knew it was probably very invasive to ask. Then again, he has no control.

“No,” Hinata plainly answers. “I knew from the start we weren’t compatible at all like that.”

_ Relief,  _ then realisation. Atsumu grapples at the idea that maybe he and Hinata weren’t as close as he thought, as close as he would like them to be. He would’ve known about this ‘ _ Alexander from Spain’  _ the very second Hinata started going around with him. 

But like Hinata said, they weren’t a match from the start, and not in the sense of love either.  _ That  _ makes Atsumu feel much lighter. He now seems to think that the reason why Hinata never told him is that this  _ Alexander  _ probably was never worth mentioning in the first place - that he wasn’t worth the time of day for Hinata to bring up because he was never important at all. 

There’s an arrogant smug look on Atsumu’s face. 

“What about you Atsumu-san? Were you seeing anyone? Did anyone have the pleasure of being with Miya Atsumu?” Hinata says teasingly.

He snorts, “ah,  _ no _ . The lack of intimacy in this life has been  _ very  _ real.” 

“Really? I’m  _ one hundred percent sure  _ that there’s a line going out the door for you,” Hinata presumes. 

Well, he is definitely _not_ _wrong_. The amount of times Atsumu has been presented with gifts from fans; flowers, teddy bears, photos, letters, or sweets, was just one sign that people _pine_ and _drool_ over Miya Atsumu. 

Hell, strangers that  _ don’t  _ even know who Atsumu is seem to take a liking to him. He ticks all their boxes for being nearly everyone’s type. Yet, they don’t tick a single one when it comes to them being  _ Atsumu’s  _ type. His is very, _very_ specific. 

“S’a bit hard to bring someone over when you’ve got Omi-kun as a roommate,” Atsumu reminds him.

“Oh, I suppose that’s true. I don’t think he would appreciate that,” Hinata realises. 

“No he definitely wouldn’t...” Atsumu trails off. 

This isn’t how he wanted to spend the last minutes of his day with Hinata; hearing about how Hinata's loneliness and lack of physical contact drove him to sleep with another person - regardless of the fact that he knows  _ that’s  _ mainly what drives people to sleep with others in the first place. Plus, it shouldn't really be any of his business which pisses him off even more. 

Now he regrets asking him. What he would not have known, wouldn't have hurt him like this. 

However, now Atsumu cannot understand why he feels like Hinata has sinned against him? Like he’s gone behind his back,  _ like he’s cheated on him with someone else.  _

That thought is a painful realisation that he thinks about on the remainder of their journey back; _h_ _ e and Hinata are not together.  _

They’re not exclusive, not dating, not going out, not an item, nor a thing. They’re just really good friends who've known each other a long time now, who hug, take naps, who are constantly near one another, and live together. 

As Atsumu rests his eyes for a while, he thinks about it - he thinks about how he doesn’t want  _ any  _ of that anymore. 

_ “We’re back!” _

Hinata’s loud voice rings throughout the apartment. Sakusa stood a few meters away in the kitchen, filling up his water bottle in the sink. He’s gotten fairly used to the loudness of Atsumu, then Hinata, and now Atsumu  _ and  _ Hinata put together.

“Welcome back.”

They drop their bags to take off their shoes before Atsumu walks over to the couch, collapsing face down. He can feel Sakusa's glowering stare. Atsumu doesn't care. He's tired or pissed off - tired  _ and  _ pissed off but he doesn’t regret going back to Hyogo. 

“M’gonna have a shower,” Atsumu decides after a very brief rest on the couch. 

He trudges off to his room, grabbing a towel and some clothes then heading into his bathroom. Meanwhile, Hinata was rummaging through his bags to find what he wanted to give to Sakusa.

“Here you go Omi-san!” Hinata chirps, holding it in the air when he finds it.

Sakusa tilts his head, “what is it?” 

He stares at the item in Hinata’s hand. It was a black keyring with Sakusa’s name embossed, written in silver kanji. 

“A souvenir! I said I was going to bring you one back but I didn’t know whether to get sweets or not. So I just got something that would last longer than food,” Hinata explained to him. 

Sakusa thought Hinata was joking when he said that he was going to bring him back something. Obviously he wasn’t joking, and Sakusa actually,  _ genuinely  _ liked it and he knew exactly where he was going to put it. 

“We went to a place where they make custom key rings, I just...I don’t know, I thought it was cool,” Hinata shrugs. 

“Thank you,” Sakusa said, taking the keyring from his hand. 

Hinata short circuits for a second, thinking that he must’ve been hallucinating because he  _ swore  _ that he just witnessed Sakusa smile. 

After his shower, Atsumu packed his bag for a light training session he planned to do the following day then flopped back onto his bed. It was the same habit that he’s been following since he started with the Jackals. 

Sunday’s are strictly reserved for either rest or some form of exercise depending on what their bodies are feeling. So far, Hinata and Sakusa have accompanied him.

Sakusa likes to perfect his technique with serving whilst Hinata will work on his receiving and digs with him. It’s good practice too given that Sakusa is a top notch offensive server and Hinata has proven himself to be highly skilled on defence. 

Then, Atsumu will rotate in as well to practice receiving, all switching around as they go along before breaking off to work individually. 

As Atsumu stares up at the ceiling and almost drifts off, Hinata appears at his door. 

“Atsumu-san, are you awake?” He whispers quietly.

His head pops up off the pillow as he whispers back,  _ “yes I’m awake Shoyo-kun.”  _

“Oh, sorry,” Hinata laughs normally, entering Atsumu’s room to lie down right beside him. 

He can see his big doughy brown eyes even in the dark with the faintest bit of light coming in from the lounge and kitchen. His head rests down on the pillow while his hand comes up to the side of Atsumu’s face. 

His heart begins to flutter, and just like that, the corrosive feelings that've been burning through Atsumu’s chest from the afternoon are long forgotten. 

“I had a lot of fun with you today,” Hinata says in a quiet voice, his thumb rubbing back some of his fringe on Atsumu's forehead. “So thank you so much.” 

Atsumu hums with content, revelling in Hinata’s light touch, “anytime. I had fun too.”

“Are you okay?” Hinata asks out of nowhere.

Atsumu has to keep himself from swallowing, in fear that Hinata would hear him and think that he’s not okay for whatever reason. But that’s because he wasn’t really. 

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” 

Hinata shrugs with one shoulder, taking his hand away, “when you asked if I got with anyone in Brazil, you seemed... _ off  _ afterwards.” 

Atsumu’s stomach drops, “that transparent am I?”

“Just call me  _ really  _ observant,” Hinata says. 

“Okay  _ really observant _ , I’m fine now,”  _ sort of,  _ Atsumu thinks. 

There’s no doubt that Hinata isn’t sure about that. But what would it mean to him if it  _ was  _ bothering Atsumu?  _ Why was it even bothering him in the first place?  _

A phone rings loudly from one of the rooms; Hinata’s, and Atsumu isn’t sure if he’s been saved by the bell or not. 

Hinata groans like he doesn’t want to move, “be right back.” 

Now the empty space on Atsumu’s bed gives him the opportunity to drift off. Or, at least pretend to because when Hinata returns a while later, Atsumu  _ appears _ to be fast asleep. 

Hinata doesn’t want to wake him so he closes his door quietly and heads back into his own room after saying goodnight to Sakusa.

Meanwhile, Atsumu’s eyes flick open and he’s nothing short of awake.

His brain can’t help but recall thinking to himself earlier how he doesn’t want to be close to Hinata. He doesn’t want to hug, nap, or be friends with him because all he wants is more.

Being friends isn’t enough now, particularly when they’ve gotten to know each other for five whole years. He hasn't been closer to anyone more than Hinata, except for his brother. But that doesn't count. 

Atsumu doesn’t  _ want  _ to take this further -  _ he needs to take it further.  _ He needs it all. Atsumu needs all of Hinata to himself. 

Yet there’s an anchor weighing him down, something stopping him from getting what he wants - _what he_ _ needs.  _ Atsumu knew he would be faced with this problem at some point in his life. Unbeknownst to him, it happened to be now. 

He sighs, his brain overburdened with multiple ways about how he was going to approach this. 

It’s probably no use. No matter how much it’s going to hurt him, Atsumu knows he could never be with Hinata. Because, if there’s one thing that Atsumu knows for sure, it’s that he’ll never be good enough and  _ that’s _ what’s weighing him down.

However, like the greedy person that he is, Atsumu will do everything he can to be near him. He wants to continue whatever they have without him  _ and _ his feelings for Hinata, ruining everything. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Let's see where we go from here...


End file.
